Too much empathy? I don’t know

The definition of empathy is “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. We all want that. To express it and to have others express it back.

Trying to live intentionally means trying to live my best life. To be empathic comes into that. Shared experiences and trying to understand what others are going through. Even when you haven’t experienced it.

My question of can you have too much empathy relates to an experience. What do we do when empathy is not expressed back at us over time? When you come to the point when you are exhausted of being there, trying to understand what someone is going through, constantly listening, suggesting and going out of your way to be there. When you have a bad day and it is all of a sudden all about them? No empathy whatsoever. Worse is that now you are dealing with someone in a bad mood directed at you.

Yes to saying this is about me and needing space to process. It is hard to process your thoughts and feelings over what happened to begin with. Now your processing someone else mood that should have nothing to do with the original situation.

I guess my question up for discussion is when does your mental health trump empathy for someone else? When you are worried about someone else who doesn’t have any empathy for you and what you are going through – at what point do you stop worrying and put yourself first? When putting yourself first might mean less empathy to them. That the world does not resolve around them and you have to take a step back and realize you can’t fix it all.

Can we have empathy without feeling we should be fixing something that might not want to be fixed? I would love to hear people’s thoughts on this. Living intentionally for me means creating the life I want. Being a kind person. Supporting and stepping up to the plate. But at what cost?

What are your feelings on this subject?