Living intentionally can mean setting boundaries to secure your time and often mental health. I work full-time and recently set an intention or boundary of not answering my phone in the evening. People could leave a message or contact me through text.
I let people know my new boundary. One friend asked me if I was going to see anyone to discuss my phone phobia. What?? I answer the phone ALL DAY at work. I was totally taken back. I thought I had set a boundary. I had to process this and talk to another friend to realize this wasn’t about me. I was taking care of me. People could contact me or leave a message.
It was such a clear message of when we set boundaries other people won’t necessary support us. Especially if it affects them – changes the dynamics and maybe their needs are no longer met. At that point I knew I had to be strong. That I didn’t have a phobia and need therapy for setting a boundary for me. To have my evenings free to do my thing.
We have to stay firm. I know from being a people pleaser in the the past it is hard. That we might not keep our boundaries as people don’t like change. The thing is this isn’t about us but about them. I did nothing wrong putting myself first and didn’t deserve to be told I had a phone phobia.
If people don’t like the changes we are making and can’t support us that is on them. Don’t apology for taking care of yourself. You can’t meet everyone needs. Putting yourself first should not need explanations or justifications. I’ll work on me and let other people work on them. Support should work both ways. But don’t wait for support to put yourself first. If they don’t get it so be it.
Setting Our Intentions 