A friend and I were talking about how certain individuals are naturally born caretakers. They are the people that make you feel welcomed, ask you about what is happening in your life and show an interest in what is happening around them.
You know the ones – they welcome the new girlfriends/boyfriends into the family. They keep track of people’s hobbies/trips and jobs. They make sure people’s needs are met. These are often also the individuals who once people’s needs are taken care of – the girlfriend is now the wife – they quietly slip into the background.
They are so busy taking care of others that they become dispensable once their usefulness is over. There is always someone more “worthy” of talking to in the room. After all what does this person have to offer? We usually know nothing about them as they have made sure it is all about us.
This person is good enough to talk to when you know no one else in the room but not worthy once you are with the in crowd. They are the ones that step up and take care of situations knowing what is expected and just doing it. Others have a life – this person’s life is service. It is what is expected of them by others (usually family).
I imagine at this point you are asking how does this relate to forgiveness. The forgiveness comes in at the breaking point. Life is passing you (caretaker) by and no one else is stepping up the plate to help. They are too busy. They have a life. Forgiveness is realizing you matter. Your life matters.
Trying not to let the actions or non-actions of others eat at you (hard I know). Forgive them for not having the awareness that life doesn’t revolve around them. Start making your life count. Saying no is hard but others have to step up to the plate. Being a doormat is no way to live. Be strong. This is your life and some individuals will not step up unless pushed.
We all deserve a life and yes to taking care of loved ones, but not being a doormat for family members or friends. Let them assume their responsibility. Give them growth opportunities to do the right thing. To think of someone else besides their selves. Imagine what they are teaching their children – do we want a generation of people who think the world resolves around them?
So natural caretakers take a breathe. You have done more than your share. It is time to allow others to assume their piece of the work. Forgive yourself for wanting a life. You are more than allowed.
FYI from experience I have gotten a bit more interesting to these individuals once I started saying no and sitting back. There might be more to her than we think?
Setting Our Intentions 